Transition

Yesterday (Monday) was a really big day for Zachary; he started a new school program at Eden called Transition.   It seems that Zachary has had a lot of "big days" lately!  :)  There's been the most obvious, getting Twinkie from 4 Paws, then graduating from the Early Childhood Program, beginning an adaptive circus arts program and moving up to the Transition Program at Eden this week.  Whew...for the kid who needs time to adjust to changes in his world and move from one thing to another, Zachary is experiencing quite a bit of transition pretty quickly, and we've all lived to tell the story!  

So, first and forth most...CONGRATULATIONS, Zachary!!  You've worked very hard over the past three years, and Mommy and Daddy are superity-duperdity proud of you!!!  You're off to bigger and better things at school!  Go get 'em, buddy!!  xoxo  Eden is a twelve month school program for kids with Autism, and ESY (Extended School Year) began yesterday as did this new phase of Zachary's life.  When he got off the bus yesterday, he walked up to his new classroom on the second floor. This, my friends, is a very big deal since the second floor is where the  "big kids" go.  :)   While Zachary needed the ultra-intense functional support of the Early Childhood Program for the past three years, it's now time for him to move up and work with the big kids.  We've come a long way, baby!  Change is good and is, of course, a reality of life, but it can be difficult for a kid like Zachary who is the product of his immediate environment, so we're extra happy about how smoothly the transition to Transition has gone over the past few months.  The Transition Program at Eden is set-up and run like a traditional self-contained program with the exception of the little fact that the kids have A LOT more behavioral support than you'd ever find in a public school setting....as in they have several BCBA's (Board Certified Behavioral Analyst) on staff .  Eden's behavioral program is outstanding, and Zachary has lived to tell the story!  LOL  He's not always happy about it, but he is better for it none-the-less.  :)   For more information about Eden, click on this link:  Eden Autism Services

This afternoon (Tuesday) Zachary also experienced another type of transition.  He attended his first after school activity!  It's the Adaptive Circus Immersion class at The Circus Place.  Circus Arts and Education for ALL kids!!!  (click here to check it out!)  The reason this is a transitional type of activity for him is that this is the first time in years, well, okay maybe in ever, that Zachary will have to move from being at school all day, coming home, quickly leaving then participating in a 60 minute semi-structured after school activity.  This probably doesn't seem like too big a deal since most kids do this effortlessly all weeklong when they're involved in sports, scouts and such.   For Zachary, though, this has always been a major challenge mainly because we've never been able to find a unique enough program to meet his unique enough needs which has always been a recipe for disaster.  A child psychologist we were seeing years ago told us, "Boredom for a kid like Zachary is a nightmare."  No truer words have ever been spoken.  Having said that, The Circus Place is indeed a unique place to play and learn.   Zachary will learn how to juggle, spin plates, ride a unicycle (hopefully), walk on a tightrope and do aerial tricks!  Yup...I'm TOTALLY serious.  This is the coolest place ever!  The Circus Place isn't so much about athletic prowess or being physically coordinated more so than it is about acceptance and opportunities for all kids...even kids like Zachary.  Sure, this type of program will most definitely help Zachary with his sensory needs, social skills and processing abilities, but it's tons of fun so he won't even know it's happening which is half the battle with my guy.  

Since The Circus Place is such a unique program, Zachary LOVED it while he was there on Saturday to work with Mr. Craig and he's grown soooooooo much functionally, we were actually pretty optimistic that this transition wouldn't be too terrible... and it wasn't!!  Zachary really enjoyed his class and participated the whole time....well mostly the whole time.  Zachary gets hot very quickly so he did try to bail briefly three times.  I should note that although escape behaviors is definitely Zachary's M.O., this was over the course of 50 minutes, so Zachary was more than actively engaged and happily participated just about the entire time.  (Thank God for small miracles!)   Mr. Craig so beautifully worked with Zachary and re-engaged him very quickly.  Zachary worked on eye-hand coordination by balancing gigantic feathers on his palm, throwng feathers through a hoop like a dart and using Mr. Craig's juggle "helper".  Hooray for Zachary!!  Hooray for us!!  It was so heartwarming for me to see Zachary look so happy, so relaxed and so engaged in something so typical...he's on his way to the Big Top.  :)      

It's been a big transitional week for our Miss Twinkie, too.  When you consider the fact that Zachary met Twinkie on June 5 , yesterday was the first time in nearly a month that Twinkie and Zachary had been separated.  By time Zachary left for school yesterday, he and Twinkie had established an incredibly strong bond in our home setting which is nothing short of absolutely, positively awesome!!!! They did everything together at home for 11 days straight (not to mention the 12 days of 1:1 time at 4 Paws), and they were inseparable.  Yesterday, though, Zachary was gone and did not come back.  Zachary was gone, but Twinkie could not go find him this time.  Zachary was gone, and Twinkie was sad.  She laid around and was mopey all day.  Poor girl.  She wandered around the house as she always does when she can't find her boy.  I knew she wouldn't cheer up until Zachary came home....and that she did!  When Twinkie heard the horn blow on the bus, she was so excited!  Zachary came into the house a few paces ahead of us, so she lost sight of him.  She ran back to me in the living room looking confused...."I know he's here!!", I'm sure she says to herself.  "Where's Zachary?!", I excitedly ask, and she's super excited again!  I brought a very happy, very excited Twinkie to the couch where Zachary was sitting, and she was now sitting, literally, on top of him a half-a-second later.  :)  She laid on his lap and didn't move for a few minutes.  She took in all of the love, hugs and kisses Zachary had for her.   Her boy was back and her world was a better place.  Now Twinkie knows exactly how Zachary feels inside every time he sees her!  

The build-UP to the MeltDOWN

Much like Twinkie, Zachary has an affinity for LEGOs....well at least for the moment.  It really doesn't matter what type of LEGO because if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...it's a duck.  The reality of this statement, though, is that Zachary has an affinity for anything that visually "repeats" itself.  Included in anything, but not limited to, are LEGOs, Dr. Seuss books, "tall towers" (aka high-tension lines), trains, videos, Google images,  tv shows, flash cards, trucks, balloons at Party City, traffic lights, iPads at the Apple store, the cereal aisle and virtually anything else that will visually stimulate Zachary because there are several of the same thing...whatever that thing may be.  There's actually a pattern here because Zachary also tends to repeat what he hears or wants over and over and over.  Welcome to the sometimes frustrating and always fascinating world that we call perseveration.  

Repetitive Behaviors in Autism (click here for more info about Autism)

Back in February, Zachary started showing a serious interest in LEGOs and Joe bought him his first LEGO set.  OK, the truth is that Santa left Joe a LEGO Space Shuttle set (which he loved, btw) and that's really where Zachary's interest began to develop.  LOL   We'll buy anything that promotes typical play AND is engaging to Zachary, so if LEGOs was the path he was taking us on we were gonna follow him.  Zachary loves outer space so he and Joe bought a small piece to the Alien Conquest set and the rest is history.  By mid-April, Zachary had all of the individual sets that completed the entire Alien Conquest LEGO set.  This was largely due to the fact that his birthday is the end March and he received lots of sets as gifts which was awesome!  :)  What was most interesting is that not only did this support Zachary's need for this type of visual stimulation, BUT he played with Alien Conquest as typically as any other 9 year-old boy.  He was appropriately engaged, showed reciprocal play and language skills and even showed some abstract play which is usually real tough for Zachary.  We couldn't have been happier!!  

Zachary used his birthday money to buy the Alien Conquest Mothership!!

Having said all of this, Joe and I both agreed that we wouldn't buy any other LEGO sets since there was such a huge risk for all of this appropriateness to quickly turn into another form of perseveration due to all of the other LEGO sets that are available.  Well, that was until we were in Ohio and Zachary was on the verge of completely losing it at the mall one afternoon while we were training and all he wanted was a small LEGO Ninjago set.   Against our better judgement (and we both knew it), we bought a small Ninjago set which Zachary was thrilled about.  And, yes, it did talk him off the edge, so, if even for a moment, it helped us out. This was an exception and the only exception.  We knew we were on a slippery slope.  After we got back home to NJ, Zachary took a trip to Target with Joe, Twinkie and Grandma.  Zachary can be very convincing, and this is where he managed to talk Joe into letting Grandma buy him another Ninjago set.  This can happen very quickly if you're not ready for it!  UGH!!  "What happened to the Play-doh we had talked about, Joe??!!",  I said to myself when they got home.  UGH!!  After I got over the surprise of seeing Zachary walk in the house with a LEGO box and the fact that I wanted to kill Joe (just keeping it real!) for letting him get it,  we had to deal with the fact that we were now navigating the unpredictable, choppy seas of breaking a newly established perseverative behavior. Good times.  

For days on end, Zachary has been begging, pleading and REPEATING himself over and over again with a seemingly simple request...more LEGO Ninjago.  It's enough to make you scream at some point, and I finally did exactly that today a couple of times.  It only lasts a second when I do scream because a) I've got Zachary's attention and have momentarily busted through this behavioral pattern and b) I can't fly off the handle when I'm trying to teach the child who can't modulate himself when he's upset that it's okay to fly off the handle.  Unfortunately, this was going to come to a head whether any of us liked it or not.  It's the nature of the beast.  

After being repeatedly told "No" as well as being offered a gazillion options and distractions, Zachary just couldn't deal with it anymore.  He started yelling and crying. He started to pound his hands and cry even harder.  Zachary was begging and pleading and yelling at me and yelling to me.  He was telling me he was frustrated, sad and stressed.  Despite the fact Zachary was yelling, he WAS doing everything else right and using his words to explain how he was feeling. After all, we tell him all of the time to "Use your words.  It helps Mommy and Daddy know what's wrong."   My poor little guy just could not understand why I wouldn't "help him" and buy more LEGOs.   It's heart breaking because at this point there is very little we can do to make the world a better place for Zachary.  What's different about this type of meltdown, though, is that it's based on genuine frustration and sadness versus frustration and anger.   Either way, these are emotions that are still difficult for Zachary to manage which is part of the reason he has a service dog.

Zachary ran out of the kitchen and into the TV room when he stopped by the stairs and SCREAMED...I'm talking SCREAMED.  It made me jump because I honestly didn't see a scream that loud coming.  As soon as that happened, Twinkie got up from under the kitchen table where she was sleeping and ran directly to him.  She was so alert and so on top of where he was so quickly that it was kinda crazy to see.  Honestly, she was standing in front of him before I even had a chance to think about calling her.  This definitely distracted Zachary enough to make him start to cry big, sad tears, jump on the couch and yell, "I NEED TWINKIE!  I NEED TWINKIE, MOMMY!"  I gave Twinkie the "love" command and also included "over" which involves her laying across Zachary's legs to provide deep pressure which is calming to him...the rest is history!   Zachary was still yelling and crying, but it was not nearly as intense as it was just a minute or two before. Twinkie gave Zachary a lot of "love", and I gave her a lot of treats to reinforce this the entire time she helped him calm down.  He was rubbing his fingers and hands through Twinkie's fur, holding onto her and letting her help him de-escalate.  For as much distress as you can see in Zachary's face, you can also visibly see his body change as Twinkie helps him relax.  

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes.

It's impossible to explain the warped sense of pride and happiness I felt when I watched this all unfold...happy endings.

Make You Feel My "Love"

"Love" is the word of the day.  It should really be the word of the day EVERY day, don't ya think?   Our world would certainly be a happier place.  Amour (French), Liefde (Dutch), Dragoste (Romanian), Amore (Italian), Liebe (German), Amor (Spanish), Karlek (Swedish).  It's just one little word, but no matter how you say it, love is still love.  There's no feeling quite as powerful as love.  There aren't any material things that I can think of that can truly equate to love because love is something that you feel in the depths of your heart; it's not something you can buy.  I tell my husband and children every single day that I love them because I truly do.  I've never experienced anything quite like the feelings of love I have for them.   I tell Zachary and Allison that love is something you feel inside that makes your heart happy and puts a smile on your face.  Simple but true in their little world of innocence.   

Me and my two little loves!  

When I watch Zachary interact with Twinkie, I'm seeing nothing short of LOVE evolving in the purest sense of the word.   Twinkie makes Zachary's heart happy and puts a smile on his face.  Simple but true.  He loves her, and she loves him...unconditionally.  Zachary looks for her, and Twinkie looks for him.  When Twinkie can't find him, she paces and isn't relieved until we show her where he is.  It doesn't matter if he's upstairs playing in his room or in the living room reading; she just needs to know where he is.  She loves him. The other night, Zachary fell asleep on the living room couch and was buried under his blanket.  There's a surprise, huh??!!  :) Twinkie began walking around the house and pacing.  When I brought her over to where Zachary was asleep, she jumped on the couch, nuzzled him then laid right on top of him.  Thankfully, Zach sleeps like death!  Although I kept saying "off", Twinkie would not leave her boy until I came back with a piece of Pupperoni.  Even then, she left him to sleep on the couch but did so reluctantly.  If we're out and Zachary starts to move away from where Twinkie is, she starts to pull towards him.  When Zachary is outside catching fire flies and Twinkie is inside, she runs from window to window following him around the yard barking and whining the entire time.   She constantly seeks him out with her toys so they can play together.  (It's really funny to hear Zachary tell Twinkie that he can't play because he's busy.)   They love each other like best friends, and it's been absolutely amazing to watch this happen....and so quickly.

A new behavior disruption command that we introduced to Twinkie after we got home last week was "LOVE".   Everyone should experience the happy, calming feelings that love can create, so I thought calling this command "LOVE" was most appropriate when I considered what a special love they have for each other.  When we give Twinkie the "love" command, we want her to lay down and cuddle up next to Zachary so he can either pat her or lay on her/with her.  Just like with any other command, Twinkie is expected to move into this position no matter where Zachary is sitting...the couch, floor, bed, backyard, wherever.  "Love" will be used as a form of behavior disruption when Zachary is struggling with something emotionally.   It will frequently be used, though, when Zachary is already calm and relaxed so he can associate these same feelings  of calm and relaxation with Twinkie .  Trying to explain to Zachary that Twinkie will make him feel better when he's already stressed and trying to process negative emotions is more than he can manage.  Less is more at that moment.  However, if we can give Twinkie the "love" command and she's just there for Zachary without us needing to say anything else, he can lean on her as he needs to both literally and figuratively.  

We started introducing this command with lots of yummy cheddar star treats and guiding Twinkie's body to the position we wanted her to be in each time.  It took a little bit of time and lots of practice for Twinkie to understand exactly what we were asking her to do, but she did it!!  Twinkie is 100% on board with her newly learned command and happily follows through with our request each time.   Zachary is so happy, calm and content to feel the "love"....Twinkie is just as happy, calm and content.  :)  What's really neat is that Twinkie will sometimes lay next to Zachary and show him the "love" without our prompting. 


This morning (Monday) while I was in the kitchen I didn't hear either one of them which likely meant that they were doing something they shouldn't have been.  :)  But, when I peeked around the corner and looked into the living room, this is what I found...

"LOVE"...

and more "LOVE"

Zachary gave Twinkie the "love" command so she'd get on the couch with him.  He calmly and quietly laid on the couch with her for about 15 minutes.  He didn't even ask me to stop taking pictures which he usually does.  

He was in that happy place we call LOVE. 

Make You Feel My Love (Adele)  (click here)  After I took these pictures, this song was playing on my iPad in the background.  This is when "love" makes you cry.    

Karma

So, as of tonight (Wednesday), we have been home now for 4 days.  In all honesty, it seems like 4 weeks!  Having a 12 month old Golden in the house is comparable to having a toddler again.  I haven't had a puppy since, well, NEVER.  Twinkie has settled in nicely....a little too nicely!  LOL  She hasn't stopped moving so neither have I.  She loves to play and seeks Zachary when she wants to play.  Twinkie is just adorable.  She knows it, and we love her for it!   We wouldn't have it any other way.  Zachary still loves her to pieces, and she loves him.  :)  But, good Lord is she exhausting!!  Thankfully her tags jingle when she walks so I sort of know where she is, or at least know she's getting into some type of mischief when I DON'T hear the jingle.  


Twinkie is into everything just as a verrrrrrrryyyyy young dog should be.  Well, at least that's what people are saying to me.  Maybe it's really not true but they feel badly for me.   At any rate, she's taken a strong liking to Legos in particular.  I can't even tell you how many Legos I've fished out of her mouth since Sunday morning.  Today alone she practically ate a small space buggy.  Unfortunately for Zachary's Alien Conquest Space Ship, Twinkie has actually eaten some Lego pieces so the space ship may be a little off kilter.  It's a small price to pay for such a stellar service dog though.   I've become quite adept at prying her mouth open and retrieving whatever it is she's got in her mouth.  Although, I have to say,  it's not an easy task because she'll go from chewing on something to "hiding" it in her mouth.  I have no idea how she does it, but she does.  She's like a prisoner stashing pills in their mouth.  Cute dog.  


Needless to say, Twinkie made herself right at home very quickly; the transition to her new home was smooth and happy.  The transition for Elfie on the other hand....not so much.  KARMA.


Karma is a word that comes from Buddhist and Hindu traditions.  (click here!)

Karma: Totally innocent victims are rare  

If we had to pick a word to describe Elfie's reaction to Twinkie  becoming part of our family, that word would be despondent.  (See above picture).  Our typically happy, bouncy, dancing and SMILING dog was absolutely floored...and still is at times.  Saturday night after we got home and all day Sunday she just stood there with her head hanging down.  Elfie was not smiling, she was not dancing around, and she was NOT happy with me.  And, boy, did she let me know it.  After we came inside from the backyard introduction on Saturday night, she barely looked at me, and, when she did it was in utter disbelief.  She wouldn't even curl up next to me on the couch.  Joe and I discussed this and decided we needed to put Elfie on a 24 hour, supervised watch!  LOL  Elfie was now looking at Twinkie's arrival to NJ through Aubrey's eyes.  KARMA.


"Maybe KARMA wouldn't be so nasty if we stopped calling her a bitch."  -Unknown


Stay tuned, friends!  :)